Money wounds are the stories, core beliefs, thought patterns, and subsequent actions (which come through these core beliefs) that keep you away from your financial desires. These wounds can permeate your generational heritage or they may come from feelings of unworthiness, a poverty mentality, or even the shame of the rich.
What are the wounds of money? Most of our financial beliefs and stories are unconscious and often seep into our belief systems when we socialize with the world. For example, did you hear these words/phrases while growing up?
- “Don’t lend money to your friends. They will never give it back.”
- “Archaeology does not pay off well. You can only make money if you are a doctor or an engineer”
- Our relatives were nice until the moment they got rich. Once they made a lot of money, they completely changed. Money changes people and makes them greedy.
- “All these rich businessmen are thieves.”
- ”This is the maximum salary in this industry. You cannot earn more unless you reach some level. ”
- “You will not make good profits unless you get an MBA from a good college like SharmaJK Ladka“
- ”How can you marry with all these loans on your head?” Nobody will marry you.
Now, have any of these beliefs affected your behavior or the way you behave with others?
We often listen to these unofficial statements and opinions that come from someone’s “personal experience” and consider them to be true for us and deal with them. But these statements can affect our thoughts and beliefs about money, our fears around it, our actions, and the stories we tell ourselves about why things aren’t working out for us. Now, that again becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Where does this money come from?
1. Flows down belief systems: Since humans (especially young children) primarily seek contact and care, most of us think so directly without questioning it or without understanding the full context. We think ‘Why are they lying to us?’ It must be true. They take care of us after all. ”
So, as children or growing up, we first go through someone else’s experience and then form our own beliefs based on that experience. Or we just copy someone else’s beliefs based on how often they tell us.
But here’s the thing: Our caregiver’s 40-60 years of experience come from their unique situations that they created with the ideas, beliefs, habits and expectations they took from others. Since the situations and circumstances of each person vary and are constantly changing, why should these beliefs be accepted universally in changing times??
Many popular films depicting the divide between the rich and the poor have always portrayed the rich as evil. The poor always seem to have such an attitude as “Though I am poor, at least I am a good Christian” which indirectly shows that people have to choose between being rich or being good, and that people would rather be better than being rich . Although it is true that some wealthy people can be mean and selfish and do not pay taxes. But society often generalizes and picks up the basic undertones of movies or a one-off event and tries to apply the learning globally. Remember AOC’s Met Gala dress that subtly “shame the rich”?
Aren’t we feeding limiting beliefs and negative notions like “don’t spend too much”, “you have to work hard”, and “money doesn’t grow on trees”? When you hear over and over again that ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, what you end up believing and internalizing is: ‘You need to work hard to make money or you can’t, someone told me money doesn’t come easy’.’ So you end up It’s about choosing harder ways to make money and when the easy ways appear, you get rid of them as if they don’t matter, because you don’t believe in making money the easy way.
4. The mentality of poverty is tainted
- Have you ever loaned an amount to your friend and never got it back? Maybe that’s because you still think you won’t get it.
- Have you talked to them or talked about this topic before? If not, it is probably because you expect that he will never come to you and because you think he will never come to you soon enough, you think that talking about him will only ‘make things awkward’. So you might not talk about that either.
- If you really believe that they can return the money, you will always assure them with your actions and beliefs that you trust them and believe in their ability to pay the money back. Would you act like this if you had opposite beliefs?
So, how has this changed?
- You can change your beliefs first and then change that which shapes your experiences.
- Our minds are forced to develop and repeat unhealthy patterns with money and cause more injury. Invest in yourself and question your beliefs. Find out: What are your money stories and Why Do you believe them what story you told yourself when you were young? Although the story was true at the time, it should not remain the same.
- You can write down your thoughts or work with a money mindset coach. Sitting with your feelings, processing them, and accepting your feelings can help your wounds heal. Step out of the model people have set for you, and if you feel intimidated by creating it, be open to learning why you are afraid of it.